Post by Sandra Bullock on Aug 19, 2011 23:09:33 GMT -5
Sitting down for our first Eviction I found myself being really nervous despite not being on the block. The truth of the matter is I have a lot to lose on this vote. Three of the four people on the block I believe have my back and I hope to only have to lose one of them.When Penn read the vote 8-7 for Adam and Mingin by heart sank because I knew that my vote could possibly be the one that determined which of these two guys were going home. When she announced Adam was leaving I immediately was overwhelmed by sadness. Despite really wanting Mingin to be safe, I didn't want this vote to be so close where I felt that my vote sent Adam home like he said it might. Adam is a great guy and I didn't want to see him leave this game like that. My decision to vote for him was the hardest vote I've ever made in this series and its only the first week of this season. Seeing Adam walk out the door didn't make me feel good at all. I felt really bad and somewhat responsible. I really hope this isn't the last I see of him in this house.
Once Adam left we all had to go right back to the couches and wait for the results of the next eviction. All I was thinking to myself was please have Nicki walk out that door. When the vote was announced 10-5 I was feeling like the house was going to get rid of the person who is acting like they don't want to be here. Of course though it ended up being 10 votes Lindsay. My mouth literally fell to the floor. I cannot believe that this house kept Nicki around. What is going on! I had immediate flash backs to Season 2 and started to realize that once again I'm on the outs in this game.
When Lindsay walked out that door I felt like my chances of winning this game were walking away with her. I'm in such a bad spot and I'm now looking at these people completely different. It's just amazing how these people can say one thing to your face and do a completely different thing behind your back. I am thinking things couldn't get worse for me at this point. I'm going into Week Two now knowing I need to win Head of Household or the Veto Competition to keep myself in this game. I'm almost positive that Sean is going to use his Diamond Power of Veto to try and get me evicted. So I need to win something or else I'm going home.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse Penn comes on the screen to inform us that he would be calling us each individually into the Diary Room. I started thinking to myself, "What the hell is going on? lol" As I entered the Diary Room Penn informed me that I had the option of either staying in my current faction or switching to the other faction. There was no guarantee if I switched or stayed that I would remain in that faction. However, my decision would be made public.
A thousand thoughts were running through my head. I kept thinking how I want to get away from Nicki, Sean, and Adam, but switching doesn't guarantee that it will happen. I thought about how staying could put me in an automatic position to be nominated if I don't win Head of Household. Ultimately though I chose to stay. It's the safest choice and I don't expect either faction to remain the same. I believe that people I get along well from the sweets will come over here and people I don't get along so well with on the sassy will go over to the sweets. You really can't predict the outcome in the end, but I can't make a safe move by just choosing to stay where I am and not make anyone upset.
I don't think this second week is going to be as pleasant as the first. I actually think that the claws have officially come out and people are really going to get down and dirty this round. It's going to be blood bath. lol.
