Oh heavens. This will be interesting. I tried having fun with this, but it's possible it's just stupid.
James Franco : For sheer comedic enjoyment and despite the fact that I would probably last about 40 seconds after he received the power, I would want James to have the ability to cause things to burst into flames. I just think if James is as enthusiastic in real life as he is online, the potential for comedy would just be delicious.
James : Waitress, can I get some cream in my coffee?
Waitress : I'm sorry sweetie, we just ran out.
James : Unacceptable!
*waitress bursts into flames*
Now even though I don't think that's REALLY a situation that would occur (I hope
). I think he would know how to use his power for good. Or at least to punish the wicked.
Franco : Did you get the good shit for the party?
Frat-boy : I didn't have time to run to the good liquor store for the top shelf stuff, but I got some cheap vodka at the gas station. Is that ok?
*Franco twitches his eye and his friend bursts into flames*
*Franco takes cheap vodka and throws the bottle at frat boy. The bottles breaks and he is engulfed in even more flames.
Franco : It is now.
Eve Torres. I think it would be fun if Eve had the ability to multiply/duplicate herself multiple times. Especially considering she's a wrestler. Even if she wasn't, something as basic as a bar fight would be that much more interesting (and hot if you're a guy) If Eve could simultaneously punch you from each of the cardinal directions. Or set up a fight scene where each punch/kick/chair broken over someone's head is strategically set to be the rhythm of "Hot Cross Buns" That would make me happy.
Kathy Griffin : Hopefully I'm not wrong in this one, when I think that Kathy Griffin would appreciate the ability to have people break into song/a musical numbers with amazing choreographies based on whatever is going on in the situation. More or less the power the induce a MTV award worthy music video in an everyday situation. Now that I type that out, I guess one could complain her power is a little High School Musical, but Kathy would have the insight, the intelligence and the box of wine to make sure that each time it was flipping awesome.
Where the subject is walking around amazing dance numbers, stellar fights, little people setting things on fire and some flawless outfits.
Lolly BasherLolly would have the power of mental projection. There are several interpretations of this power, but I like the one where your more or less have an invisible "ghost of yourself" send a suggestion to whoever you want......
OR..... I could just show you a video since my explanation sucks.
I think the reasoning behind this should explain itself, but just in case.
*Lolly sitting in a bar*
Lolly : Man, I'm thirsty.
*Lolly notices a man sitting on the other side of the bar. She sends a mental projection
Projection Aubz : "You should buy that girl at the bar a drink."
*Man walks over to Lolly.
Man : I'm sorry, miss. I hate to disturb you, but can I buy you a drink?
Lolly : I'm never disturbed when someone is buying me a drink.
*Man orders Lolly a tequila shot
Man : So what should you do?
*Lolly Rolls eyes*
Projection Aubz : "You should leave this nice girl alone you tool."
Man : You know what, I'm going to leave you alone. You're a nice girl and I'm kind of a tool.
Lolly : *licking the remaining tequila out of the bottom of the shot glass* (nonchalantly) oh, no.....you're not bothering me, but my girlsfriends ARE on there way here. and you know how girlfriends can be.
*1st man walks away, 2nd man approaches Lolly*
2nd Man : I'm sorry, miss. I hate to disturb you, but can I buy you a drink?
Lolly : *hiccups* I'm never disturbed when someone is buying me a drink.........
Lindsay LohanLindsay is hands down the resurrection queen of the starz series. And while I'd love to make her Wolverine from the X-Men. To me, that's been done (time and time again.) So I'm going to with the Ability to switch positions with anyone in the world. Anytime in seasons 2 or 4 where it seemed like Lindsay's card was up, she would get switched out with someone else (almost as if by some strange power won in a competition of the same name
) and brought to safety.
News reporter :
Sources says that the boulder was careening down the slope towards the tiny family from Provo, Utah, when actress Lindsay Lohan jumped out of no where and pushed the family out of the way just in time, Sources say they did not see Ms Lohan escape the path of the boulder. In fact Ms. Lohan was not seen at all after her daring rescue. In related news, Ann Coulter was found dead today in Yellowstone National Park (busy day for them I suppose). Eye-witnesses do not recall seeing Coulter before or during the incident, so officials are not convinced the case is related.
Sandra Bullock: Sandra I would like to give the power to control pheromones. She's such a level headed individual and I feel like she should be in charge of celebrity relationships. So that such nightmares as Marilyn Manson and Rose McGowan, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, and any guy who has ever married a Kardashian. Someone really needs to regulate that stuff and make sure that every "love that will last an eternity" are legit, so I don't have to sit here and listen/read about all these celebrities getting married and divorced quicker than the term of pregnancy of the average beagle. So like Alyssa Milano's husband at the end of Charmed (only less contrived and WAY cooler) I would more or less make Sandra a cupid.
Sausage WackerI would want to give Sausage Wacker the ability to heal. I'm accident proned and I get cuts and scrapes now and then. And I would want Sausage to
have to need to put his hands on me in order to heal me. Because.... you know....
Sausage is hot and I want him to touch me often..... safety is important.
I know these sort of lost some steam toward the end, but I was worried about this getting too long and I have to get ready for work in a bit. Hope you guys like your new powers!
). I think he would know how to use his power for good. Or at least to punish the wicked. 
