Post by Holly Marie Combs on Nov 5, 2011 10:01:57 GMT -5
Umm...... not entirely sure how to get this ball rolling. Except to say...... Wow.
When this game started I definitely didn't see myself making it this far a 2nd time. In season 1, it was such a crazy fight to the finish. That was obviously a very different game than this one being a cast of All-Stars, and I played a very different game compared to that one as well.
Going into this game there was a plethera going through my head as to how to play the game. As has been mentioned, this was obviously not my first BB Starz rodeo, but it's not very well known that this wasn't my 2nd either. I played completely alias as "America's Sweetheart" Melanie Brown in season 3 (Penn didn't even know it was me until after I was evicted). For those of you not familiar with season 1, the 2nd half of the game consisted of me getting in huge fights and having to win competition after competition to stay alive as well as to aid my last closest ally. In season 3 I got into huge fights and eventually had to win competition after competition because I didn't walk in to the game with pregame allies and I never made an alliance with Debra who had like 20 (obvious exaggeration
). After all the drama that was season 3, I originally wasn't going to play in All-Starz at all. The stress of these games honestly take a lot out of me. However, with the encouragement of Penn and Adam Levine, I agreed to play the game as Holly Marie, hoping that the season 1 kids wouldn't still have anything against me.
I started off trying to do what any all-star should do, see where you stand with people from your season and "get to know" people from other seasons. It seemed pretty clear early that there was a LOT of cross season relationships. And I heard from friends that my name had come up numerous times about getting me out since I was "so mysterious" (apparently, someone actually thought this) and such a "competition threat." Well, this was pretty distressing since I obviously didn't want to be an early boot. There were immediate talks about a season 1 alliance, which I jumped on quickly. That meant the 3 people I more or less helped take out of the game weren't coming after me (at least for a while). It became obvious to me that if I wanted to have any shot of AT LEAST making jury, I needed to lay as low as humanly possible and let the obviously larger than life personalities attract all the attention in the game.
Then came what I call the whirlwind of fun in the fact that halfway through round one, I came down with the plague which kept me down for about a week. Followed immediately by a week where I worked my regular full time job and two side gigs for the convention center and the university medical center. Then came my trip where my laptop was busted. In those weeks I was basically doing what A LOT of people were blatantly doing. Which was trying to not make too many waves and also not putting 100% in every challenge.
As far as the game, I know this is already WAY too long with the parts I've already written, so I'm going to try and paraphrase my gameplay. First off, I HATE not playing alias or being in a game where people know who I am. Primarily because if I have a rapport or relationship with someone it's REALLY hard for me to go against them unless they betray me first. Also, I don't like the feeling that I'm doing well or poorly because of things not pertaining to the game I'm currently in. The only reason I felt compfortable making an exception was because it's an all-starz and it's more or less what everyone does. So walking into this game, I had immediate loyalties to Orlando and Kathy and Chris Evans who I found out was the host of a great series I had participated in multiple times. I didn't know Chris was who he was irl until the start of the game, and I didn't even tell him I was Melanie until about halfway through this game.
The second major portion of my gameplay and what I more or less attribute to me getting here was the fact that I attempted to maintain some flexibility in the game in between bouts of honesty. By that I mean that I really did what I could to not really commit to anything unless I had to. I, with very few exceptions (looks at Eve and Lolly :-( ) did everything I could to not have to be in a position to lie to anyone or go back on my word. I blatantly told people when I wouldn't vote out a friend. I told people that I didn't want to commit to anything before a nomination/veto ceremony, and I even told Chris who wanted to go to the final 2 with me that should it come down to it, I couldn't promise his safety in the final 3 or 4. Simply because I originally felt it would be a 7-0 victory for him to win. Also being an all-star game, there were people I truly cared about but that I unfortunately DID let take their own fall. There were times i could have tried to save someone that I truly care about, but that would have placed a target on my back and they probably would have left anyway.
and let me get a few things off my chest.
1) I KNOW that compared to my season 1 and 3 performances, I was a bit of a letdown for several people, including other houseguests, the hosting staff, and even myself. THIS IS NOT NEWS TO ME AT ALL. I'll touch on it later if asked, but for the most part, if you are a juror who wants to berate me for lack of killer instinct in this game, do so to get it off your chest, but calling me out on it will neither surprise me nor offend me. If I felt I could get here again playing as tough as a game as I did the first time around, I would have done it. I think in this game there were NUMEROUS people who were trying to stay out of the spotlight in this game. Conversely, there are definitely members of the jury who played VERY out in the open games who could use the subtlety of my game as a reason to not vote for me in the end. To those people, I would hope that you would at least hear me out as to why I feel that I shouldn't just be cast aside with no shot at your vote. If not, it's your vote to do with it what you will, and if vote against me, that's obviously something I should have considered/focused on more in the game. No hard feelings.
2) I KNOW there are people in this game who feel betrayed by my actions. The 3 that stand out in my mind the most are Lolly, Eve and Sandra. I can say to both Lolly and Eve that given my respective histories with both of you, that being a part of ousting both of you was not something I enjoyed. I hate to be cliche and say "it's a game" but more or less, that's the attitude I had when I voted. I basically felt close to several people in the game, but felt that at any point, my time would come to be cut loose. And I wouldn't have been mad at anyone for doing it. Simply because I knew that my season 1 win was always something that could be used against me and because I knew I was playing with some really talented (and cunning) people So I think the relaxed feelings I had towards the game and being evicted were sort of how I expected everyone else to be. I can't say I regret my decisions, because I might not be here had I not made them, but I can say that if I've royally f@#ked up my relationships with anyone in this game, that I am very sad about that and hope that in time, it will be something that people just give me shit for as a joke or use it as ammunition vote me out of a future game so we can be even. At the end of the day, If I evicted someone who wanted to take me to the end or if I truly hurt anyone's feelings, it was never my intention and I hope you know that. If voting for Chris to win will help make it easier to forgive what I did against you, I say do it. These games are meant to be fun, but it stops being fun for me when people I do genuinely like are pissed at me.
Other than that, I have more to say, but this is already way f@#king too long. I hope I don't sound too cocky in my statements, I'm really tired and this was due like an hour ago. I look forward to everyone's questions/comments and hope there won't be any witch burnings within the next few days with these questionings. Thanks everyone for being such a fun cast and to Penn for putting on another stellar game.
When this game started I definitely didn't see myself making it this far a 2nd time. In season 1, it was such a crazy fight to the finish. That was obviously a very different game than this one being a cast of All-Stars, and I played a very different game compared to that one as well.
Going into this game there was a plethera going through my head as to how to play the game. As has been mentioned, this was obviously not my first BB Starz rodeo, but it's not very well known that this wasn't my 2nd either. I played completely alias as "America's Sweetheart" Melanie Brown in season 3 (Penn didn't even know it was me until after I was evicted). For those of you not familiar with season 1, the 2nd half of the game consisted of me getting in huge fights and having to win competition after competition to stay alive as well as to aid my last closest ally. In season 3 I got into huge fights and eventually had to win competition after competition because I didn't walk in to the game with pregame allies and I never made an alliance with Debra who had like 20 (obvious exaggeration
). After all the drama that was season 3, I originally wasn't going to play in All-Starz at all. The stress of these games honestly take a lot out of me. However, with the encouragement of Penn and Adam Levine, I agreed to play the game as Holly Marie, hoping that the season 1 kids wouldn't still have anything against me. I started off trying to do what any all-star should do, see where you stand with people from your season and "get to know" people from other seasons. It seemed pretty clear early that there was a LOT of cross season relationships. And I heard from friends that my name had come up numerous times about getting me out since I was "so mysterious" (apparently, someone actually thought this) and such a "competition threat." Well, this was pretty distressing since I obviously didn't want to be an early boot. There were immediate talks about a season 1 alliance, which I jumped on quickly. That meant the 3 people I more or less helped take out of the game weren't coming after me (at least for a while). It became obvious to me that if I wanted to have any shot of AT LEAST making jury, I needed to lay as low as humanly possible and let the obviously larger than life personalities attract all the attention in the game.
Then came what I call the whirlwind of fun in the fact that halfway through round one, I came down with the plague which kept me down for about a week. Followed immediately by a week where I worked my regular full time job and two side gigs for the convention center and the university medical center. Then came my trip where my laptop was busted. In those weeks I was basically doing what A LOT of people were blatantly doing. Which was trying to not make too many waves and also not putting 100% in every challenge.
As far as the game, I know this is already WAY too long with the parts I've already written, so I'm going to try and paraphrase my gameplay. First off, I HATE not playing alias or being in a game where people know who I am. Primarily because if I have a rapport or relationship with someone it's REALLY hard for me to go against them unless they betray me first. Also, I don't like the feeling that I'm doing well or poorly because of things not pertaining to the game I'm currently in. The only reason I felt compfortable making an exception was because it's an all-starz and it's more or less what everyone does. So walking into this game, I had immediate loyalties to Orlando and Kathy and Chris Evans who I found out was the host of a great series I had participated in multiple times. I didn't know Chris was who he was irl until the start of the game, and I didn't even tell him I was Melanie until about halfway through this game.
The second major portion of my gameplay and what I more or less attribute to me getting here was the fact that I attempted to maintain some flexibility in the game in between bouts of honesty. By that I mean that I really did what I could to not really commit to anything unless I had to. I, with very few exceptions (looks at Eve and Lolly :-( ) did everything I could to not have to be in a position to lie to anyone or go back on my word. I blatantly told people when I wouldn't vote out a friend. I told people that I didn't want to commit to anything before a nomination/veto ceremony, and I even told Chris who wanted to go to the final 2 with me that should it come down to it, I couldn't promise his safety in the final 3 or 4. Simply because I originally felt it would be a 7-0 victory for him to win. Also being an all-star game, there were people I truly cared about but that I unfortunately DID let take their own fall. There were times i could have tried to save someone that I truly care about, but that would have placed a target on my back and they probably would have left anyway.
So, now that I've gotten that out of the way, I guess I'll get to the most important part of all of this, you guys. I'm fully aware of the sour taste I leave in some of the jurors mouths. I completely understand that not everyone will have respect for me and how I played this game. For those of you who would like to start taking shots at me for the less than stellar aspects to my game. I invite you to freeze
and let me get a few things off my chest.
1) I KNOW that compared to my season 1 and 3 performances, I was a bit of a letdown for several people, including other houseguests, the hosting staff, and even myself. THIS IS NOT NEWS TO ME AT ALL. I'll touch on it later if asked, but for the most part, if you are a juror who wants to berate me for lack of killer instinct in this game, do so to get it off your chest, but calling me out on it will neither surprise me nor offend me. If I felt I could get here again playing as tough as a game as I did the first time around, I would have done it. I think in this game there were NUMEROUS people who were trying to stay out of the spotlight in this game. Conversely, there are definitely members of the jury who played VERY out in the open games who could use the subtlety of my game as a reason to not vote for me in the end. To those people, I would hope that you would at least hear me out as to why I feel that I shouldn't just be cast aside with no shot at your vote. If not, it's your vote to do with it what you will, and if vote against me, that's obviously something I should have considered/focused on more in the game. No hard feelings.
2) I KNOW there are people in this game who feel betrayed by my actions. The 3 that stand out in my mind the most are Lolly, Eve and Sandra. I can say to both Lolly and Eve that given my respective histories with both of you, that being a part of ousting both of you was not something I enjoyed. I hate to be cliche and say "it's a game" but more or less, that's the attitude I had when I voted. I basically felt close to several people in the game, but felt that at any point, my time would come to be cut loose. And I wouldn't have been mad at anyone for doing it. Simply because I knew that my season 1 win was always something that could be used against me and because I knew I was playing with some really talented (and cunning) people So I think the relaxed feelings I had towards the game and being evicted were sort of how I expected everyone else to be. I can't say I regret my decisions, because I might not be here had I not made them, but I can say that if I've royally f@#ked up my relationships with anyone in this game, that I am very sad about that and hope that in time, it will be something that people just give me shit for as a joke or use it as ammunition vote me out of a future game so we can be even. At the end of the day, If I evicted someone who wanted to take me to the end or if I truly hurt anyone's feelings, it was never my intention and I hope you know that. If voting for Chris to win will help make it easier to forgive what I did against you, I say do it. These games are meant to be fun, but it stops being fun for me when people I do genuinely like are pissed at me.
Other than that, I have more to say, but this is already way f@#king too long. I hope I don't sound too cocky in my statements, I'm really tired and this was due like an hour ago. I look forward to everyone's questions/comments and hope there won't be any witch burnings within the next few days with these questionings. Thanks everyone for being such a fun cast and to Penn for putting on another stellar game.